“Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.” - Jonathan Edwards -

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Evangelitis Warning!

I have noticed a disease reaching epidemic proportions within the church. It seems to be quite insidious and can develop, at times, almost undetected. So, I wanted to send out a CDC (Church Disease Control) warning.

The disease is Evangelitis, and it can be fatal if not treated. Here are some of the symptoms:

1. Your church may rapidly swell 2, 3, up to 5 times it's normal size, yet it's functionality may be reduced by ten times. Even though it would seem that a larger church would INCREASE the proper functioning of the body, in fact, when this disease begins to take root, the exact opposite is observed; the older people are shuffled into 'vintage' services and the younger ones enjoy the 'contemporary' services. Slowly but surely, the more traditional folks will begin to feel alienated and isolated. They will eventually begin to fall off.

2. Your pastor regularly preaches in attire that is more suitable for an all-night lock-in at a cream pie factory with 100 crazed youth. (you know, torn jeans, a snorgtee, and sandals, or maybe barefoot).

3. Your pastor has a blog that he updates with frantic, almost obssessive regularity. But the posts have almost no spiritual bearing, most of them being self-absorbed rants. Oh, and he will use the word 'freaking' a lot, and it often times is all in caps. (My guess is that this proves how cool and relevant he really is?)

4. The sermons at your church can readily be found at a number of sermon prep sites for a small fee, and were generally not authored by your pastor. (I assume he is far too busy updating his blog?)

5. The leadership at your church are far more concerned with being 'relevant' as opposed to 'Biblical'.

6. Your time of singing consists of a worship 'band' that 'performs', (loudly), while everyone stands around clapping. And the band has enough gear (lights, sounds, instrumentation) to float the next Police reunion tour.

7. Your leadership seems to be enamored with technology as opposed to Theology.

8. Your church sponsors conferences that are named 'Revolution', 'Awakening', 'Fire' and the guest speakers are pop psychologists, eastern meditation experts and prayer maze designers.

9. Your pastor has replaced the pulpit with a card table and chairs, a bed, a music stand, or a couch.

10. Not only has the pastor replaced the pulpit with a stage prop, but he has also replaced the Bible with a book from the McManus/McLaren/Bell/Eldridge groups.

If you notice any of these symptoms, you should immediately begin checking the church regularly for a loss in the proclamation of the Evangel. At times, the loss of a functioning Evangel is almost imperceptible, so be on your guard.

You have been warned!

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